I Wonder..

I used to be so good about blogging. It has been a really long time since I opened up this blog.

I wonder if anyone actually reads this. I suppose I could post this on some blog sites and get some traffic again. I used to get a ton of traffic on my old blog. I had to shut that one down to avoid some ugly business by someone who wanted to hurt me and my kids.

After reading a book called The Time Lottery, it has me wondering, where in my life would I go back to? It's about a company that creates a way for people to go back in time to their own memories. They can then choose to stay or come back. Nothing that anyone does in the past affects the present. If there are kids in the present, they don't just disappear. However, the person in the present dies even while they live on in the past.

If you had a chance to go back into your own memories for a redo, where would you go? Would it be back to your childhood? College? Your first love? Your first job? What would you change?

Happy :)

I am happy to report that we did wind up exactly where I wanted to be. I am so much happier where I am now than where I was before. It is a nice feeling.

No, life is not perfect here but I have a ton of support and it is a great support system. My dreams no longer contain vivid images of running or fear. They are still just as odd as they have been but to analyze them now would lead me to believe that I am heading in the right direction and that good things are down the horizon for me.

I have a job I love and a real chance to move up. I live in an area that I am very happy to be in. :) Life is good and it is nice to be away from all the awful memories that haunted me where I was before.

So, my musings will continue from our new location. More later...

Wow only 2 months since my last post :)

Musings...thoughts...daydreams...nightmares...dreams...there is a topic for discussion.

I've been having these really whacked out dreams lately. Dreams of rattlesnakes, mazes, falling off a brick wall, being chased, being pursued by someone other than my husband, always running.

I suppose a dream analyst would say I am having issues in my life. Conflict that I want to run from, images I don't want to see, feelings of inadequacy in my marriage, being unhappy, wanting to be free. Fear of things coming. Fear of the future. All of these would be true.

There are so many questions of what our future holds. Right now we are on the brink of a major turning point in our lives. It will be another month before I find out where this path is going to take us. I pray nightly that it takes us where I hope it is going to take us. I think not being able to reach this would crush me. So, maybe, that is what my dreams symbolize. The fear of change or the fear of change NOT coming. Running away from where I am now and running to the future. Wanting to be free of all the BAD MEMORIES that HAUNT me where I am now. Wanting to go back to where I was happy. Where all of us were happy.

I guess I just have to be patient and see where our life is going to take us. The path has been started down. I just need to get to the end of this path and hope that when the trees clear and the fields open up, that I am where I really and truly want to be :)

Time Flies By

Goodness, it has been nearly 9 months since I last blogged. I guess things have been so busy I have not had much time for bubble baths nor musings. It's true in the summer, the warmth of a bubble bath doesn't call to me as much as it does during the cold, winter months.

Musings, as it were, can take many different forms. Daydreaming, night dreaming and just plain meditating are all forms of musing. I tried meditating for about a week and have yet to get the hang of it. Being alone with my thoughts is something that I long to have so I need to get better at meditating and carving out time for myself and my thoughts. Relaxing and doing things I enjoy are fleeting at times especially now that school is back in session. It's run, run, run and work, work, work and that leaves very little time for musings.

I hope to get back to musings and thinking and meditating and hoping to carve out a little bit of "ME" time. I'll be back..don't go too far.

Do you believe in 2nd chances?

Granted there are no do-overs in this life. However, do you ever wonder what would happen if you had made a different choice in any aspect of your life? I recently read a book that covered this topic. It was a work of fiction of course but it still gets you thinking.

The character in the book wondered what would happen if she chose to be with her ex-boyfriend instead of her current husband. In a bizarre twist of fate, she was able to go back in time and the steps she took, using hindsight, eventually brought her back to a similar but not altogether different new reality.

Do you believe in 2nd chances? Is there someone you wish you had given a 2nd chance or a chance at all? Is there anything you'd like to go back and redo? What would you like to change about your past? What impact would it have on your current life?

Holidays & Times Past

Well the holidays are upon us. Time to trim the tree, trim the house, shop for friends and family, enjoy parties and all that the holiday brings. For me, it's also time to reflect on years past.

It's nice to find old friends and remember times past. It's nice to bring back memories of a time in our lives when things weren't so hectic with kids and work. When we could pick up and go just because we could without worrying about finding baby sitters or rearranging schedules. I sometimes miss those easy going days of old and I definitely miss the friends that I don't get to see much anymore. I am thankful in every way for the internet and the ability to talk to friends who have now moved too far away to go and hang out with. :) This year has brought us back together with MANY old friends that I am so happy to be a part of their lives again...regardless of where they live.

This time of year makes me thankful for these old friends and of course all my new friends too. New friends who are there for you no matter what is going on in our life and love you just because you are you. New friends to be silly and laugh with even if we don't get to do it nearly as often as we should. I am also thankful for my family and the time I get to spend with them doing all the seasonable activities. It's fun to watch the kid's eyes light up with the magic and splendor of the season. To see them get excited about seeing Christmas lights go up on our house and the neighbor's home too. To hear them wish for everything under the sun for Christmas knowing full well they won't get everything but it's fun to WISH!

What do you wish for this holiday season?

Busy time of year...

Wow. It's been a while since I last blogged. I've had so much going on in my life. With the holidays upon us, it's a time to take a look around us, however, and give thanks for all the blessings we have in our lives.

I am thankful for:

good health of myself and my family
good jobs for my family
the chance to be part of something so much bigger than ourselves
the chance to share the season with my children
good friends to spend the holidays & my life with
the home that we live in as there are so many who are less fortunate

What are you thankful for?