Bubble Bath Musings

Happy :)

2011-04-20T14:31:00.000-07:00

I am happy to report that we did wind up exactly where I wanted to be. I am so much happier where I am now than where I was before. It is a nice feeling.

No, life is not perfect here but I have a ton of support and it is a great support system. My dreams no longer contain vivid images of running or fear. They are still just as odd as they have been but to analyze them now would lead me to believe that I am heading in the right direction and that good things are down the horizon for me.

I have a job I love and a real chance to move up. I live in an area that I am very happy to be in. :) Life is good and it is nice to be away from all the awful memories that haunted me where I was before.

So, my musings will continue from our new location. More later...

Wow only 2 months since my last post :)

2010-10-22T11:55:00.001-07:00

Musings...thoughts...daydreams...nightmares...dreams...there is a topic for discussion.

I've been having these really whacked out dreams lately. Dreams of rattlesnakes, mazes, falling off a brick wall, being chased, being pursued by someone other than my husband, always running.

I suppose a dream analyst would say I am having issues in my life. Conflict that I want to run from, images I don't want to see, feelings of inadequacy in my marriage, being unhappy, wanting to be free. Fear of things coming. Fear of the future. All of these would be true.

There are so many questions of what our future holds. Right now we are on the brink of a major turning point in our lives. It will be another month before I find out where this path is going to take us. I pray nightly that it takes us where I hope it is going to take us. I think not being able to reach this would crush me. So, maybe, that is what my dreams symbolize. The fear of change or the fear of change NOT coming. Running away from where I am now and running to the future. Wanting to be free of all the BAD MEMORIES that HAUNT me where I am now. Wanting to go back to where I was happy. Where all of us were happy.

I guess I just have to be patient and see where our life is going to take us. The path has been started down. I just need to get to the end of this path and hope that when the trees clear and the fields open up, that I am where I really and truly want to be :)

Time Flies By

2010-08-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

Goodness, it has been nearly 9 months since I last blogged. I guess things have been so busy I have not had much time for bubble baths nor musings. It's true in the summer, the warmth of a bubble bath doesn't call to me as much as it does during the cold, winter months.

Musings, as it were, can take many different forms. Daydreaming, night dreaming and just plain meditating are all forms of musing. I tried meditating for about a week and have yet to get the hang of it. Being alone with my thoughts is something that I long to have so I need to get better at meditating and carving out time for myself and my thoughts. Relaxing and doing things I enjoy are fleeting at times especially now that school is back in session. It's run, run, run and work, work, work and that leaves very little time for musings.

I hope to get back to musings and thinking and meditating and hoping to carve out a little bit of "ME" time. I'll be back..don't go too far.

Do you believe in 2nd chances?

2009-12-07T12:16:00.001-08:00

Granted there are no do-overs in this life. However, do you ever wonder what would happen if you had made a different choice in any aspect of your life? I recently read a book that covered this topic. It was a work of fiction of course but it still gets you thinking.

The character in the book wondered what would happen if she chose to be with her ex-boyfriend instead of her current husband. In a bizarre twist of fate, she was able to go back in time and the steps she took, using hindsight, eventually brought her back to a similar but not altogether different new reality.

Do you believe in 2nd chances? Is there someone you wish you had given a 2nd chance or a chance at all? Is there anything you'd like to go back and redo? What would you like to change about your past? What impact would it have on your current life?

Holidays & Times Past

2009-12-02T10:40:00.000-08:00

Well the holidays are upon us. Time to trim the tree, trim the house, shop for friends and family, enjoy parties and all that the holiday brings. For me, it's also time to reflect on years past.

It's nice to find old friends and remember times past. It's nice to bring back memories of a time in our lives when things weren't so hectic with kids and work. When we could pick up and go just because we could without worrying about finding baby sitters or rearranging schedules. I sometimes miss those easy going days of old and I definitely miss the friends that I don't get to see much anymore. I am thankful in every way for the internet and the ability to talk to friends who have now moved too far away to go and hang out with. :) This year has brought us back together with MANY old friends that I am so happy to be a part of their lives again...regardless of where they live.

This time of year makes me thankful for these old friends and of course all my new friends too. New friends who are there for you no matter what is going on in our life and love you just because you are you. New friends to be silly and laugh with even if we don't get to do it nearly as often as we should. I am also thankful for my family and the time I get to spend with them doing all the seasonable activities. It's fun to watch the kid's eyes light up with the magic and splendor of the season. To see them get excited about seeing Christmas lights go up on our house and the neighbor's home too. To hear them wish for everything under the sun for Christmas knowing full well they won't get everything but it's fun to WISH!

What do you wish for this holiday season?

Busy time of year...

2009-11-24T12:25:00.000-08:00

Wow. It's been a while since I last blogged. I've had so much going on in my life. With the holidays upon us, it's a time to take a look around us, however, and give thanks for all the blessings we have in our lives.

I am thankful for:

good health of myself and my family
good jobs for my family
the chance to be part of something so much bigger than ourselves
the chance to share the season with my children
good friends to spend the holidays & my life with
the home that we live in as there are so many who are less fortunate

What are you thankful for?

Fall Weather

2009-10-19T13:39:00.000-07:00

It seems that fall has finally found our tiny little corner of the world. The leaves are slowly changing, the air has that brisk feel to it in the morning and the nights are cooling off. My children ask for jackets and long sleeves now and have put away the shorts and tank tops. It is a nice feeling to not have to turn the air on in the house.

Soon winter will be upon us and jack frost will be nipping at our nose. I am a cool weather person. I don't like when it is too hot or too cold. I guess you could call me Goldilocks...I like it "just right".

What is your favorite season?

BBM

Invisible Child

2009-10-13T13:45:00.000-07:00

You know where I live. You know my phone number. You know my email address. You visit and comment on my blog, yet you refuse to have any other contact with me. Why is that? Yes, we've had words over email over some thing that was so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. However, your passive aggressive behavior is aggravating. You trying to use my kids as a way to get to me, is ridiculous.

When I said that I had an issue because I have very low importance in your life and you respond by ignoring me and not taking my calls and not responding to MY emails, that only further solidifies the truth of the matter. I do not have a high importance in your life. Love? Yes, I suppose you do love me in the way a mother is supposed to and expected to love her child. However, I rate very low in terms of your every day life.

You missed most of the major events in my life. Graduation, the arrival of my children, surgeries on every member of my family; myself included, all under the pretense that one of you could not get off work..even when you weren't working. I now understand your own mother's aggravation with you when time after time you couldn't be there for an event for her.

I promise myself that I will never become you with my own children. My children now know that they are a priority in my life. They know they come first. My own friends know my kids and family come first. I have to be TOLD to take time for myself and even then I do it begrudgingly and feel guilty for being away and spend time calling them to just say hi when I am not home.

Someday, maybe, you will figure out that you are the one who needs to change and start re prioritizing things in your life to fit in your child and her family. Until then, I suppose I will only continue to see your comments on my blogs.

Pet Peeves

2009-10-12T11:29:00.000-07:00

What are your pet peeves? I have a few but probably less than most. Mine are divided into categories. Those that are major with me and those that are minor with me.

Major:
Lying - I hate it and I hate when I catch someone in a lie and they still lie about it! I can hand someone proof positive that they are lying and yet they still won't admit it. That I do not understand at all. Most people need to realize that it is easier to fess up than to create a convoluted story that just twists them all up in more lies.

Being constantly late - if you are going to be late, call me. It's that simple. Don't show up 30 minutes late and expect me to be forgiving and nice about it. In this day of cell phones, there is no excuse for not calling. I will give you a 15 minute leeway...beyond that you face my wrath.

Not accepting responsibility for your actions - if you can't accept that your actions have consequences then don't bother doing anything in life. This goes hand in hand with lying of course but it just gets my goat when people do something and then act like they had no idea that something bad could happen as a result!

Minor:

Leaving cabinet doors open - this drives me nuts! Especially if the cabinets are lazy susan style because then food falls into them and things get really gross, really quick. It also allows the animals in my house to get into them. ICK!

TP hanging the wrong way or leaving an empty toilet paper roll on the holder.

Wiping hands/face on sleeves or shirts

Leaving lights on in empty rooms

What are your pet peeves?

Do you ever feel like?

2009-10-08T10:40:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like just screaming in pure frustration and because you are just flat out overwhelmed?

Lately that is how I have been feeling. I guess I need to spend more time relaxing and finding that inner peace and security. Lately, however, I feel like my life is not mine to control and I really hate that. I know that you can't control everything in your world but sometimes I think I should be able to control more than I do.

It just seems like there is so much negative energy surrounding me and I don't know how to escape it. I try to think positive. I try to be zen about things and say that things happen for a reason even if I don't know the reason at the time. I try to remind myself to control the things I can and to let the others just do what it is they are supposed to do.

However, it is HARD to do that. It is hard to let go of worries and fears. It is hard to trust that things will be okay in the future. I want to go back to a world where I didn't have to constantly worry about whether I would have a job at the end of the week because of an economy that seems to be yo-yo'ing back and forth. I get so close to accomplishing my goals and while I can see the finish line, I fear I will never cross it.

I worry about my kid's and their future. What does it hold for them? Am I doing enough for them? I think I am. They seem to be okay even on the days that I wonder why I am sending them to their rooms for the 4th time that day. I know it's for their own good though and that there are lessons to be learned.

My life gets so busy sometimes that I don't know if I am coming or going and then the next thing I know the alarm is going off and it is time to start all over again. I know I am sleep deprived. I wake up too many times in the night not to be. I can never figure out exactly what it is that wakes me up. A dream? A noise? A child crying out? A dog barking outside? Wind? Who knows?

I guess I just need to take more baths. I need to take more time for ME and ME alone. I have a hard time with that because I always put everyone else FIRST and if there is time for me, then I will take it. I have to remember that sometimes I need to put ME first.

SPAMMERS

2009-10-07T13:54:00.000-07:00

I quite possibly get over 100 SPAM emails a day in my various email accounts I maintain. I even get them in my work account. My question is who falls for these emails? I mean do you really and truly think that Be$t Buy, Micr0s0ft, C0stco and W@lm@rt are all giving you money just for clicking on a link in an unsolicited email?

How about those penile enlargement emails? Dating emails? I mean who is gonna say, hey, I got this great email about enlarging my manhood. I've never heard of the company but I bet they are reputable because by golly they sent ME an email about their product. What marketing geniuses they must be! How did they know I needed it? Or the dating emails? You can say to your future child, well, honey if it hadn't been for this great SPAM email I got, I never would have met your mother? Now, I am not knocking LEGITIMATE online dating services, but really, why would you sign up with a company just because it showed up in your SPAM folder?

Then there are all those lonely men and women out there who just want you to view their "wittle ole webcams". Ya, I am sure he or she is just dying to have you watch them. I bet they are sitting at their computers just agonizing over the fact that jerkoftheyear @ jerkoftheyear . com has not signed on to watch online. Do you really think people are that stupid?

I don't know. Maybe some people are that dumb. Of course, I'm still waiting for the Prince of Some Country I Have Never Heard Of, to send me a wire transfer agreement for $1 billion dollars so that I can save his heritage and he will fly out here and marry me. I know it's legitimate...after all it showed up in my SPAM folder ;)

Get a real life people :)

BBM

Bubble Bath Musings

2009-10-04T21:47:00.001-07:00

Hello and welcome to my small corner of the web; better known as my bath tub. I do some of my best thinking in a tub full of hot water and warm bubbles. So, this blog is to allow me to indulge my "muse" as it were.

Where do you do your best thinking? Where do you go to relax after a long day? I like my tub. It's just big enough that I can stretch out a bit but not so big that I feel like I am wasting a ton of hot water. I love bubbles. My current favorite is an Apple Pie bubble bath I found in a catalog of a company who is well known for their bubble baths.

More to come as I develop this blog. Pull up a chair, grab a cup of tea and relax with me.